Daxton's Birth Story

The best possible way to start out our new year was having Daxton Yanis Carroll join our family on New Years Day at 12:11 pm! The story really starts the day before though, on New Years Eve.

Around week 35, Daxton started measuring really small, so Dr. Brown had me schedule an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. Now both my girls were measuring small at the same time so we weren't too concerned. We figured that just meant I was having another 6 pound baby. Went in for my ultrasound New Years Eve. My brother, Bryan, stayed home with the girls and Ricci came with me. She is expecting her first,so I thought it would be fun for her to come along. I was just going to go alone, but so glad I didn't in the end!

The technician said he looked healthy, just seemed to be measuring about two weeks smaller than he should have been. Their biggest concern was his stomach was measuring small, and since he wasn't gaining weight, they were worried he wasn't getting enough nutrition. So then the doctor came in and after looking at everything, she basically said he needed to be delivered. They knew he was healthy, just small. They guessed he weighed about 4 lbs 8 oz. But they were worried that if we left him in two more weeks, and he wasn't getting enough nutrition and growing, that it would be less safe to deliver him. Or that he might even be stillborn by then. They then had me do a stress test to see if he needed to be delivered that day. I thought I was going in for a quick appointment. We ended up being there most of the day.

Thankfully they determined he was healthy enough, it could wait until the next day. Dr. Brown was unfortunately out of town, so they gave me a choice. They said I could wait until she came back into town and then schedule a C-section with her. But not knowing her schedule, that could be several days out. Or, the on-call doctor said she could fit me in first thing New years day. I hate having to make decisions like that! I would prefer to have my doctor do the surgery, but was it worth it to wait? I chose not to wait. I didn't want to do anything that would cause regrets. The decision was made easier when they told me the on-call doctor was Dr. Loewen. She was the OB who did my first C-section with Kalianna.

My day became very busy after that! I called my mom and Matt to tell them they both needed to take the rest of the week off. I went shopping for preemie clothes, just in case. I washed baby clothes, pulled some baby stuff out of storage, and packed our hospital bags. We had a New years Eve party planned for that night and several people asked if we should cancel it. I said, "Are you kidding me? I need the distraction!" So our friends all came over as planned and we had a yummy fondue party and played games. We had a great time! Since i was having surgery the following morning, I couldn't eat or drink anything past midnight, and i couldn't take my sleeping pill. I was very grateful to be surrounded by laughing friends and family members to ease my worry of the next day. I did not sleep that night. Once everyone left, I lay awake all night. Thankfully my appointment was first thing in the morning.

We got up around 6:00 am and started getting ready. A nice thing about C-sections is I was able to do my makeup and hair a little bit, and i knew it wouldn't get messed up. My aunt, Bonnie, met us at the hospital and they started prepping me. Bonnie wanted to see a C-section and I told her she could come to mine. My doctor said she could come too as long as the anesthesiologist approved it. I got all ready for my 8:00 am surgery, then the nurse came in and said the doctor was behind and it would be closer to 9:00. Then when it got close to 9:00, we were told 10:00, then 10:30, then 11:30. Thank goodness Bonnie was there to talk to! The three of us had a great time, laughing and talking. If it had been just Matt and I, I'm afraid we would have been more focused on worrying about the unknown. Bonnie was a great distraction from all that!

They finally took me back and the anesthesiologist finally approved Bonnie to come in as well. She spent hours with us all morning, not sure if she'd be able to go in or not. I only started to feel panicky at one point. Sitting in the OR, right before the doctor gave me an epidural, surrounded by bright lights and masked faces, I started to feel really hot. Which was always how my panic attacks started. I was thankfully able to get control quickly though. I took deep breaths, closed my eyes, and told myself to relax. I kept my eyes closed through most of the surgery, to help stay calm. People kept asking if I was asleep. I wasn't, but I knew if I looked around too much the anxious feelings might come back. Finally it was time! I opened my eyes when Dr. Loewen said they were ready to pull out the baby. I felt the pressure and tugging of him being removed, and then he was here! I heard him cry and they held him up for just a second so I could see him, then he was whisked away again. Once again, I was so grateful to have Bonnie there! Matt went over to be with the baby, so it was really nice to have someone stay by my side while they checked him out. Daxton Yanis Carroll was born at 12:08 pm. Yanis is pronounced Yawn-iss

They were afraid he might have aspirated some fluids as they pulled him out, so they spent a long time sucking him out and looking him over. Then they finally weighed him. He was 5 lbs 4 oz. The entire room cheered! He was almost a pound bigger than they thought he'd be! He was also 18 1/2 inches tall, so he was skinny, but his length made him seem not so small. Matt finally brought over our little bundle as they finished sewing me back up. That's one of the hardest parts of a C-section. Laying there, not able to hold my baby for the first time until they are done. We got back to the recovery room and did some skin-on-skin bonding time and tried to have him nurse. Daxton was the one and only boy name I liked. We had no back-up names in mind, so thankfully he looked like his name! Bonnie took off shortly after that. Daxton didn't seem to get nursing yet, so the nurse had us give him a bottle. Because of his size, and their concerns, we needed his blood sugar level to be up, or the NICU was going to take him away. She said normally they'd give me a lot longer to try nursing, but in his case, he needed the nutrition and he needed it now. It paid off when the NICU nurse came in and ran her tests and he passed them all.

They finally took us up to our room and we called my parents to tell them they could bring the girls to meet their brother in about an hour. My nurse came in to go over information with me, and another nurse came to take Daxton to the nursery for his evaluation. Matt went with him. They said they'd be right back, and then they'd do his first bath in our room. I got done going over papers and information with my nurse and then she left and I was alone. I waited, and waited, and waited. I wanted to call Matt to see what was taking so long, but he'd left his cell phone in our room. Finally the nurse came in and said, "Has anyone told you whats going on yet?" I told her I didn't know, and almost immediately started to cry. I knew that wasn't a good phrase to hear. She told me they had started the evaluation, and Daxton began turning blue. They put him on oxygen, and he went pink again, but they were waiting to see how he could manage when they took him off again. She then volunteered to bring Matt his cell phone and left again. I called my parents and told them to hold off, then called Matt. He confirmed everything the nurse had said. Every time they tried to take Daxton back off the oxygen, he started turning blue again. They were waiting for the pediatrician to examine him and then Matt would call again. So once again i was left alone in my room to cry and worry. We thought he would have to be in the NICU, and then he was born bigger than we thought so he was safe. Now it was looking again like he'd have to be in the NICU.

After what seemed like forever, Matt called me back. It was clear Daxton was not breathing well enough on his own, so they were taking him down to the NICU. They would briefly stop by my room to say good bye, since I had had a C-section and would be unable to go downstairs to see him for awhile. I was only able to hold him for long enough to kiss his head and tell him i loved him. Then my baby was taken away from me again. I had only gotten to spend about half an hour with him since he was born. Matt went down to the NICU with him and, once again, I was alone. My sweet nurse came in to see how I was doing, once she heard all that had happened. She told me she had four C-sections so she knew what i was going through, and she promised me she would get me out of that bed and downstairs to see my baby as soon as possible.

Once Daxton was settled and Matt had been given all the information we needed, he returned upstairs. We called my parents again and they brought the girls over to see us. It was so good to see them and hold them, but so hard to not cry in front of them! Poor Kalianna was so excited to meet her little brother, but now he was going to have to wait. Under 14 were not allowed in the NICU, not even siblings. Matt took my dad downstairs to give Daxton a blessing, then my Mom went downstairs to meet him as well. We were both emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of the day! It was weird too because with our girls, we had lots of visitors in and out to pass the time. But with Daxton in the NICU, it was just my parents and Matt's parents. I slowly started getting feeling back into my legs late that afternoon, so i wiggled them as much as i could to get the blood flowing again and to get me out of that bed. That night, around 8:00 pm my nurse came in and said, "Let's do this". She helped me stand and I was able to walk a couple steps, with support, to the wheelchair. I still had an IV and my catheter bag that had to be carried, but my sweet nurse was as determined as I was. To give you an idea, with Kalianna I was up about 24 hours after surgery. With Magdalyn I was up about 12-14 hours after surgery. With Daxton, it was 8. I believe it was sheer willpower to see my baby that got my body up and out of the bed so quickly.

Between Matt and my nurse, we made it downstairs and I was finally able to see my sweet baby again. He looked so sad with his oxygen tubes, IV, and monitors all over him. I could only touch his head and talk to him, which is so hard for a new mommy who wants nothing more than to snuggle her baby! After a brief visit, I had to get back to my bed. The next several days, we were downstairs as much as possible, but I was also told I had to get lots of rest and heal myself as well. Not easy to think about myself when Daxton was the one I cared about, but I knew they were right. If i didn't heal, I wouldn't be able to care for him. They also had me start pumping to get my milk in, while Daxton remained on an IV.
 

Panicking

The last month has been a difficult one. And it made me realize something. I NEED to write. Writing is my stress release. It's my coping mechanism, my escape, and my therapy. As hard as this month has been, and as much as I wondered, "How will I ever get through this?" I feel like I am through the biggest hurdles. And, as always, I learned much along the way. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We put our house up for sale about six months ago. Most of you know that. We knew it wouldn't sell quickly, being a condo and in this market, but we figured we could handle having three kids in our small house for a short time. It was frustrating though, and I spent many hours (and contractions) fixing things up and basically repainting a good portion of the house. I started feeling more and more like it was time for us to move, but no one was interested in buying, at least not for a decent price. Mid-November my dad said, "How much do other condos in your unit rent for? Maybe you should rent it out until the market gets better". This is an option Matt and I had only ever briefly considered. But six months on the market and with baby three on the way, suddenly it felt like the time was right. So we decided to actually start looking at houses, and then we'd try and find a renter once we found something. The same day we put an offer in on a house (which we didn't end up getting), someone called our Realtor asking if we'd be interested in renting. She gave them my number, they looked at the house that afternoon, I checked references, and before we knew it, papers were signed the next afternoon. We had a renter...and had to be out in two weeks.

This time also coincided with finals for Matt. So while he was busy working his tail off in school, I was trying to pack an entire house, alone, with two little kids constantly begging for attention. I pretty much lived on caffeine and adrenaline for those two weeks. Thankfully my sister Theresa, soon-to-be sister-in-law, Alyssa, and brother, Bryan, and his wife Ricci all came up and offered help on different days. I'm not sure how it would have happened without them! I'm not even sure how it all happened With their help! But happen it did. And on November 23rd, we moved in with my parents while we continued to look for a new home. (My parents have a pretty big house, but my brother Brent lives in the basement, and my sister Julie and her husband Seth moved in a few weeks before us. So we went from our somewhat spacious home, to a completely full house and down to only two bedrooms.) I slept very little during this time, and had a whole lot of contractions from all the strenuous work and stress. It all finally caught up to me and the night after we moved in, I had my first panic attack.

I awoke in the middle of the night suddenly feeling extremely panicked. I didn't even know what I felt panicked about. I just couldn't sit still, I got really hot, and then I couldn't breathe. Thankfully(?) I've had a panic attack one other time in my life, so although I didn't know what was happening to me or why, Matt knew what was going on. He got my dad out of bed and the two of them gave me a blessing. The feelings didn't go away, but my breathing slowed and I was able to catch my breath. I was not able to get back to sleep that night. I was like a fidgeting zombie all the next day. After a couple mild panic attacks, and several nights with no sleep, we called my OB-GYN. She put me on bedrest. Let me tell you something about bedrest. It is Not restful! As a mother, it's extremely difficult watching someone else take care of your kids while you "rest"! I am super grateful though to my family who took turns missing work to care for me and the girls. After several days and an appointment with my doctor, she took me off bedrest with the strict guidelines to take it more easy. She also told me to try Tylenol PM for my lack of sleeping. Oh, and to top it all off, I forgot to mention that the day after we moved in, I also contracted a horrible cold. I couldn't breathe, was coughing all night, and completely lost my voice. My body was basically shutting down after the weeks of hell I put it through.

Kalianna adjusted very quickly to being at my parent's house, and all the extra attention. She completely soaked it up! Magdalyn, on the other hand, became ridiculously clingy and only wanted Mommy 24/7. Literally. She stopped sleeping through the night. My daughter, who has been sleeping through the night since 4 or 5 months old, was suddenly waking up every couple hours, screaming for Mommy and needing to be rocked to calm down. Needless to say, this did not help with my sudden panicking and insomnia. She and Kalianna also caught my cold, which also didn't help them sleep, as they would cough all night. Magdalyn got more and more sick until we had to take her to the doctor. They were afraid her pneumonia would come back (she had a mild case in September) so she was put back on antibiotics. Poor baby! The medication made a vast improvement very quickly. I, however, was not getting better.

I have never been an anxious person. Ever! When people would tell me they suffered from anxiety I honestly thought, "That's so stupid! Just stop stressing!" Like telling a depressed person to "just get over it and be happy" right? Boy was I wrong! I feel like I lost all control of my life. I was suddenly panicking and anxious over the dumbest things. I suddenly felt claustrophobic in group settings. And I kept experiencing shortness of breath and hot flashes. I remember one morning as Matt was leaving for work, I just bawled because I didn't want to be left alone. I knew I was panicking over silly things. I knew I was anxious and stressing over nothing. But I couldn't seem to control it. This was not me! And I hated it! The Tylenol PM did absolutely nothing. I found myself start to get hot and extremely anxious every night at bedtime. I would stress about whether or not I'd be able to sleep, which in turn kept me up and I couldn't sleep. Matt was also almost never around during this time, as he was still working hard on final projects for school. He'd get off work and stay at work to study until all hours of the night. Or he'd come home right at the girl's bedtime to say goodnight and then set up camp at the table and work all night. It was hard to tell who was actually getting less sleep.

I was also spending a ton of time online looking at houses, driving around with our Realtor and two restless little girls, looking at houses. I wanted to cry all the time! Everything we looked at was too small, required too much work, or I just plain didn't like. Then we found it! The house I had been looking for! Good location, nice and spacious, and it was brand new! Then, after running the numbers, we realized it was just out of our price range. Another panic attack ensued. We were getting nowhere in the house hunt and the only one I did want, I couldn't have.

After my next doctor's appointment (and now going two weeks with an average of 1-2 hours of sleep a night) I was a wreck! I went into my appointment and just bawled to Dr. Brown. I didn't understand what was happening to me. She prescribed a sleep aid and told me to take it every night for a week. She said my body would never get better, and my anxiety would never go away without good, solid sleep every single night. She also set up an appointment with a councilor who works closely with their department at the hospital. That night I took my first sleeping pill (ever) and I slept soundly through the night. Right before it kicked in, I suddenly felt very giddy and started seeing double. Matt thought I was hysterical. I think the lack of sleep added significantly to my body's reaction to the pill. Even though he was still studying hard for finals, my sweet husband took care of Maggie each time she got up that night. I heard her (the pills are really very mild) but for the first time, I went back to sleep and let him take care of things.

Over the next week, several things happened. Matt got done with school for the semester. Hallelujah! I was still up several times during the night with Magdalyn, but the pills allowed me to fall back asleep, instead of remaining awake all night. I was now getting actual sleep! And I went to my first therapy appointment (ever). Like I said, all this was very new for me. She gave me a couple tips while we were talking. One of which was to keep a journal of things that were causing stress and anxiety in my life. When she said, "try writing" it was like getting slapped in the forehead with a huge DUH! Writing has always been my stress release! It's always been my why to sort through different feelings, whether good or bad. I'm so glad I had to go to a therapist to tell me something I should have thought of myself. =P  Oh well. I blame it on lack of sleep. That and I haven't really written since we put our house up for sale. With Matt in school, being pregnant, and taking care of the girls, plus trying to keep our house spotless for potential buyers, by the end of every night, I was exhausted! My bedtime got earlier and writing became a thing of the past. I also told our Realtor (aunt Becky) that I needed to take a break from house hunting until after Christmas. I couldn't handle the disappointment anymore.

About a week and a half ago, after visiting with the councilor, I left the girls in the care of my sister and went with Matt to watch his last soccer game of the season. This had become another cause of anxiety for me. Leaving the girls with anyone else. Especially at bedtime. But I knew I needed the break, so I took a deep breath, sucked it up, and we left. While watching his game I pulled out my notebook, thinking I would write a few thoughts as they came to me. Before long, I had written an entire poem. Another thing I haven't done in far too long. The words just came and, as they did, I felt like this huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Thank you Doctor! It's not the most amazing poem I've ever written, but it got everything out. And as I read and re-read the words, it's like something in my brain finally clicked.

This isn't my mind, I don't stress

How did I get myself in this mess?

Who is this person that keeps me awake?

Why do I suddenly feel so fake?

Spinning, dizzy, stressful pest

Wishing my body and mind would rest

Panicking, aching, wish I could breathe

Why can't I make these feelings just leave?

A house in our price range that isn't a mess

Why does bedtime bring me such stress?

Anxiously pacing the whole night through

Thinking of three now instead of two

Houses, cars, the great balancing act

Trying to sort through feelings and fact

I must get better! My girls are in need

Of more than a zombie, only good for feed

Step back...slow down...breathe in and out

Close your eyes, just rest. No more doubt

Your family is healthy and safe, why the worry?

You have a roof, no more need to hurry

Let go. Enjoy every moment you're in

Everything doesn't have to be a lose or a win

Your family loves you, you're safe, there's plenty of time

A healthy baby, happy girls...it's not all an uphill climb

Just calm down, rest easy, there's no need to fight

Close your eyes, deep breaths, it's time to say good night

That night and writing this poem was a huge turning point for me. I have not had a panic attack since that night. I've been sleeping better, and I seem to have gained a better grasp on all my stresses and realities. I finally started to get excited for this baby to come instead of feeling anxious about him! I am happy to say I may not be completely whole yet, but I am much happier than I was a few weeks ago, and I continue to improve with each day. We had a wonderful Christmas, and I was able to enjoy all of it! I have just started looking at houses again, and we are getting ready to welcome our son in just a couple more weeks. I'm so excited!! And Matt is going to try really hard to help me find some time for writing. So hopefully this blog will come back to life and I'll have a chance to blow the dust off my next novel. We're hoping my own personal therapy will continue to help with the stress and anxiety so I can feel like me again!

Maggie is Growing Up

I know I haven't posted anything new in months. I've been working like crazy to repair, paint, and fix up our house for selling. Since Matt is in school and working and averages about 3 hours of sleep at night due to homework, he doesn't really have time to help. Thus it has fallen on me. So I apologize. I have a lot of catching up to do! But I will go back and fill in as I can. Today's post, however, is about today.

Magdalyn just turned 18 months! She started nursery on Sunday, and it couldn't have gone better! She has been dying to go for months now. She would run in whenever we dropped off Kalianna and started playing with toys. Then cried and cried when I made her leave. But on Sunday she was finally "legal", and boy was she excited! Kalianna took her hand and they walked in together and never looked back. I didn't even say good-bye to either of them. They just started playing. Every time I peeked in the window, she was happy as could be. No tears. No messy diapers. The leaders never had to get me. Let's hope this trend continues!

Today was Magdalyn's 18 month checkup at the doctor and everything looks great! She did not, however, gain a single pound since her 15 month checkup. Not even an extra ounce! She did gain another inch though, she's now 32", making her seem even skinnier. The doctor isn't too concerned, looking at her genetics, but she does recommend we start calorie-packing Magdalyn's meals. At least for the next few weeks. Then I get to bring her back to have her weighed and make sure she's gaining weight. Reading over the packet of suggestions seriously made me laugh. It seems funny how they tell you to feed your children healthy, then your child stops gaining weight and suddenly you have to start unhealthy habits. Like making sure I put extra butter on all her veggies and breads. Giving snacks of cookies and cake instead of fruits and veggies. Putting cheese on her food whenever I can. Having her drink milk and juices instead of water. The biggest thing is Magdalyn loves fruits and veggies! They are always the first thing gone from her plate. I think she'd be vegetarian if she were old enough to make the choice. So I'm not concerned about her health. I just now have to supplement where she isn't getting enough calories. There will be lots of carnation instant breakfast being drunken at our house these next few weeks.

For the last several weeks, every night and sometimes during the day, Magdalyn will climb onto Kalianna's bed, lay down, and say "I sleep". Then when we remove her from big sister's bed and put her in her crib, she cries. Matt has been asking about taking the side off her crib and converting it to a toddler bed. I've been a little more resistant since she's only 18 months old. At the same time, she is wanting to be more and more like her big sister. That girl wants to grow up and who am I to stop her? So tonight we finally did it. We took the side off her crib, while she was snuggling with Kalianna's pillow. When Matt said, "Maggie, look!" she turned around and literally squealed. She continued to scream and make little squeaking happy noises as she scrambled off Kalianna's bed and climbed up onto her own. She was ecstatic! All smiles! She started jumping up and down and then laid down on her pillow. Then she got some books and read for awhile, then she laid down again. Absolute pure joy on her face.

I don't know if it will last. Seeing as we put her down about an hour ago and she's been at the door calling for me about a dozen times already. But I know it was an adjustment with Kalianna at first too. So we'll see what the next few days bring. For now, I just want these images to remain in my mind for as long as possible.  

Magdalyn 15 months

Magdalyn has grown up so much these past couple months! It's like she just decided one day she was ready to stop being a baby. Bring on the big girl stuff! She walks like a pro now. It took her awhile to gain confidence, but right around 14 months, she just decided to go for it, and has been cruising ever since. She has got so many teeth now, even a couple molars, she can eat just about anything. And does! If someone is eating something, she wants to try it! She will try anything and everything we put in front of her. But her favorite food is still fruit. I have yet to find a fruit she doesn't like.

Magdalyn is talking a bunch now too. She loves to repeat words and try new ones out. When she is learning a new word, she tends to whisper, like she wants to make sure she's saying it right before speaking out loud. Some of her favorite activities are playing in the water (bath or pool, doesn't matter), riding her big sister's bike, playing outside, swinging, going on slides, climbing, pushing things around (cars, chairs, strollers, etc.), and her favorite toys are balls and cars. She also loves stuffed animals. She will hug and hug them. It's so cute! She also loves to read lately. She will bring me a book and climb up on my lap. She can do this forever! Just one book after another. She loves it, just like her sister. We do a lot of reading at our house!

Magdalyn does not like being left out of things! She wants to be doing everything her big sister is doing all the time. If she is too small, she gets really frustrated and throws herself on the ground. She gets very upset each week when she can't participate in Kalianna's tumbling class. But she does get to play in the gym every week when we go to free play and she LOVES it! She gets so excited every time we arrive and she has gotten really good at climbing and doing things on her own. She is more brave than many of the 2 & 3 year olds we see at the gym.

Magdalyn is a little more shy and timid than Kalianna is. She can be very reserved. A lot of people comment all the time on how chill she is. Especially when we're around a lot of other people, she is a very quiet observer. She is perfectly content to just sit back and hang out. But when we're at home, she's always on the go! She also remains my happy-go-lucky little girl. She can be quite dramatic at times, but most of the time she is all smiles.

Magdalyn is so smart! She picks up on things and learns new words and skills very quickly! She is so fun, I just love watching the little girl she is becoming!

At her 15 month appointment, she weighed 22 pounds (36%) and she was 31 inches tall (71%). Both my girls remain long and lean!  

Coming Soon!

I wanted to write a few things about this new little bean before I forget them. =)
We thought before we had our third kid, Matt would be done with school. We also thought, since he'd be done with school, by the time number three came along, we'd be ready to buy a new house. Well, neither of these are true. Matt still has about two years of school and with the housing market, we are putting our house up for sale, but there's a good chance we'll still be here for the rest of those two years. But, Matt and I really like having our kids about 2 years apart. It's been perfect with Kalianna and Magdalyn! So we found ourselves stuck. Do we continue with our family plan and have another one, or do we put it off another year and be in a better position with school and housing?

It was a rough couple of months, lots of prayers and going back and forth, trying to decide what to do. Then one day a realization hit me. Ten years from now, it's not going to matter if Daddy was still in school for the first year of their life. The kids aren't going to care, or probably even remember that there were three of them sharing a room.  But ten years from now, I might regret putting that extra year between Maggie and her little brother or sister. So in March, I fasted and prayed that our decision to start trying again in April was the right one. I have never received a stronger YES in my entire life! I was completely overpowered by the spirit. Yes, April was the time to start trying.

With Kalianna, it took us about two years to get pregnant. Then it took us about six months with Magdalyn. Keeping in mind it usually takes a little time to get pregnant, and wanting the results to be two years, we decided to start trying when Magdalyn was one. Well, we got pregnant in April. I'm glad I listened to the spirit! This little peanut will be a little closer to Magdalyn in age than we were anticipating, but we are super excited! And Matt realized with his schooling, January is a good time to have a new baby as opposed to the last two being born really close to finals. I'm officially due January 22nd. But since we know it will be a C-section this time, their birthday will more likely be around the 15th.

So far, this pregnancy has given us a few scares. I didn't get sick as early as I did with the girls, so I was afraid something might be wrong. Then about a month ago, I started having really bad stomach pains for 48 hours. I kept waiting for them to either go away or result in a miscarriage. When neither occurred, I went to see my doctor. They checked my blood for normal hormone levels and when those came back fine, they did an ultrasound. We were afraid the pregnancy might be ectopic. But the ultrasound looked fine too. Shortly after that, the pains went away and I felt fine. The nausea did finally catch up to me. Even though I have thrown up a lot less, I'm still very nauseous most mornings.

As for the girls, we waited to tell them until I had my first "real" appointment. Kalianna keeps trying to look down my shirt to see the baby, and she keeps asking if it's going to come out yet. It's going to be a long six months for her! Magdalyn obviously doesn't understand anything that's going on yet. I think the funniest thing is Kalianna is convinced I'm having a boy AND a girl. That's what she tells people. "My mommy  has two babies in her tummy". I don't. We checked. I think she just can't decide which one she wants more, a brother or another sister. So, being the brilliant child she is, she chose another option. Why not have both? Then she doesn't have to choose! As for Matt and I, I honestly will be completely happy either way. We love our two girls and have had a ball with them. We'd love to add another to the crew! At the same time, a boy would be fun too. So we will just have to wait and see in about 9 more weeks!

Photo Shoot 2012

We just had Kalianna's 3-year pictures and Magdalyn's 1-year pictures done a couple weeks ago. Mindy always does an awesome job! Maggie was being a little stinker, and wouldn't even crack a grin, but I think she got some cute ones anyway.

Mothers Day

Last Sunday was the best Mothers Day ever! Matt sent me on Saturday to get a pedicure with my sister, so he and the girls could work on my present. It has been far too long since I've had one! It was so nice and relaxing! Then Julie and I picked up the girls and ran a few errands, including a trip to the mall. And a trip to Southtowne mall means:

Kalianna loves, loves carousels!

Magdalyn's first time!

Sunday morning Matt made us a yummy breakfast of sticky buns, then the girls gave me the present they had made.

Isn't this the cutest bag ever! I almost cried

I was very proud to pack my new bag for church, no more diaper bag on Sundays! Church was nice, all the women got cookies and a plant this year. Matt even took Magdalyn during Relief Society so I could hear the meeting. Then after church, Matt took care of the girls and let me write. I told him that was what I wanted more than anything, since I rarely get a chance anymore. I got to work on my book for 3 whole hours! Kalianna helped Daddy make a delicious dinner of steak, mashed potatoes, salad, and shrimp. All my favorite things! While they finished up, Magdalyn and I played downstairs.

She just loves being big enough for the trampoline now!

 They even made a yummy chocolate cream pie for dessert.

I think she likes it!

Kalianna ate her pie quickly, and then took off to play. So sadly, I didn't get any pictures of her.  After dinner, the girls (Maggie) were in desperate need of a bath! So we went upstairs and played in the water for a little while. Then Kalianna and Magdalyn watched a movie while Matt cleaned up the kitchen, allowing me to write a little more. My girls were so sweet, the food was amazing, and Matt completely spoiled me! It was such a fun day!