Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Magdalyn's Birth Story

It's amazing how much your life can change in one week's time!

Last Wednesday was my final doctor's appointment. She stripped my membranes for the second time to encourage my body to go into labor, but it didn't work. Since my doctor's appointment was late in the afternoon, and since I knew we would be coming back to Salt Lake the next day, we just decided to stay at my parent's house. That afternoon there was a knock on my parent's door. My little brother Brent, who is currently working in Oregon, had sent both my sister and I a beautiful edible bouquet and balloons. 'It's a Girl!' for me and 'It's a Boy' for her. The bouquet sat in a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse base, and the pineapple was cut to look like Mickey Mouse ears! So, so cute! And so very sweet of my little brother! All the women who were there just sat down and cried. Brent will get to meet his new niece and nephew in June.

Thursday my sister, Kristine, was getting induced. We took it easy in the morning and by afternoon, most of my family was hanging out at my parent's house. Went and saw a movie in the afternoon with Ricci for her birthday. We saw 'Soul Surfer', which was really good and inspiring! You don't find too many movies like that anymore. We made dinner and tried to keep all the kids entertained while we waited for a phone call. Around 7:00 we got the call that Hayden was born. My dad took the boys to go meet their little brother first, and then the rest of us went about an hour later. It was so surreal holding that little boy and knowing I would be holding my own in less than 24 hours! We didn't stay long so they could rest. We also knew we would be back soon!

I got very little sleep Thursday night, as I knew I would. When Kalianna came, she was a complete surprise! No time to think about anything. She was just suddenly here. Knowing I had a scheduled C-section with Magdalyn was completely different. I spent extra time reading with Kalianna, knowing I wouldn't see her much for a few days. Then I stayed up late talking with Matt, Bryan, and Ricci because I needed a distraction. Took a long, warm shower and finally exhaustion took over and I went to bed. Then I woke up about every ten minutes all night long, afraid I was going to miss my alarm.

When my actual alarm finally did go off at 5:15, we got up and tried to get ready as quietly as possible. Unfortunately Kalianna heard us and woke up, happy as can be and ready to play. I sang her back to sleep and was secretly glad for one more chance to see her. But then we were running late. We arrived at the hospital around 6:15 am. The lady checking us in commented on how happy I seemed. I said, "I am having a baby and I'm not in labor. Of course I'm happy!" She seemed to like that. Once in our room and dressed in a sexy hospital gown, the nurse came in and got my IV started. She also gave me a free bikini wax with a dull razor. My nurse was awesome! She talked and joked with us while I enjoyed my breakfast of IV fluids. Once I had downed two bags, Matt got in his awesome duds and they walked me into the operating room.

I seriously had an awesome team! My anesthesiologist was a lot of fun and he was cracking jokes and talking with me while the epidural and block kicked in. Dr. Brown talked me through everything, the curtain went up, and they were off! It was amazing how many people were in the room. Matt and I counted eight, not including the two of us. There was 1-Dr. Brown and 2-her assistant, then 3-my nurse, 4-the anesthesiologist and 5-his trainee, 6 & 7-Magdalyn's two nurses, and 8-a med student standing in the corner to watch. It was a very full room, but everyone was talking and having a grand ol' time while I lay splayed open on the table. It was awesome having such a fun, light-hearted team. They made everything seem easier and go by more quickly.

Matt wanted to watch this time around, but once he could smell them cauterizing, he decided he couldn't stomach it after all. But he did watch them pull her out. This time, in the right position, they were able to get Magdalyn's head out right away. She actually started crying the moment her head was out, before she was even born yet! Her body was tucked nicely under my ribcage so they had to grab the base of her neck and yank several times to get her out. It felt really weird! I wish I could describe the feeling of having them tug on her, but there just aren't words. They held her up for me to see, like they did with Kalianna, but because of the angle in which I was laying, it was hard to get a very good look. I thought I would be ready for it this time. I knew she was coming, I had been planing on her arrival for weeks. But the moment she started crying, I did too. It was amazing to hear her little voice for the first time and to know she was actually here. Matt went over to see Magdalyn and watch them weigh her and get her ready. A few moments later the nurse shouted, "I've got a 10-10! That's the first time...ever!" All the other doctors in the room voiced their surprise as well. Not one of them had ever seen a baby with a perfect 10 Apgar score before. So when people came in the room and exclaimed she was perfect, they were right on!

Magdalyn Svetlana Carroll was born April 15, 2011 at 7:58 am. She weighed 6 lbs 11 oz and is 20" long. I could hear her crying, but they were still busy sewing me back up. My sweet anesthesiologist asked me if I wanted a better look. Then he pulled the curtain aside and asked the nurses to hold her up for me. That's when I got my first good look. She was beautiful! I shed a few more tears and tried to be patient while the doctors worked at putting me back together. Dr. Brown told me it would take longer this time. They had to remove the scar tissue from my last C-section and they also cut out my last scar. Then they stitched me back up in layers, performing a sort of plastic surgery, so I would only have one scar again. While Matt was taking pictures of Magdalyn, the anesthesiologist was joking with me that Dr. Brown was stitching her initials. I had my eyes closed for a little while and at one point, I opened them and looked straight up. It was the first time I noticed that I could see my reflection in the light. It was very red and bloody. I realized I should probably not continue watching. The last thing I needed was to go into shock or something. So I looked away and continued to look to the sides after that. Finally Matt came over and sat by me, holding our little girl. The doctor took some pictures for us, while I was still in surgery. So behind the curtain, I am cut open! Kinda weird to think about when I look at the pictures.

When they were all done, they finally handed me my baby and wheeled me back into the room to recover. This time around, Matt and I asked that no one be at the hospital while I was in surgery. It was really nice to have some time alone, just the three of us, without the pressure of waiting visitors. When Kalianna was born, we thought we knew what we wanted her name to be. She was going to be Magdalyn. The moment we saw her though, she did not look like a little Maggie. She looked much more like a Kali! Again, we thought we knew what Magdalyn's name was going to be. But when I saw her the name wasn't right. And after spending a few minutes with her, we knew we had our little Magdalyn. It's funny how both times we knew what their names were supposed to be as soon as we saw them. And both times it wasn't the name we were expecting. Who knows? Maybe we will have a 3rd little girl and her name will be what we had in mind for Magdalyn.

Matt and I decided long ago to give all of our children Latvian middle names. Not just any names. We also wanted them to be named after people who had a significant impact on Matt while he was on his mission. Then when we were thinking about middle names with this pregnancy, we decided the names didn't have to be Latvian, they just needed to be significant. Matt knew and worked with many Russians while he was in Latvija as well, so it didn't seem right to limit name choices to strictly being Latvian. Svetlana (or Sveta) was a good friend of Matt's who was Russian. She has actually visited America twice since he got home and I have been able to meet her. It took no convincing at all to name our next daughter after her! Plus we both thought Svetlana was a very pretty Russian name as well.

Once I was done in recovery, they wheeled me upstairs to my room and Magdalyn received her first bath. I love that they do it in the rooms now so Mom can watch! She wasn't too happy at first, but when the nurse started washing her hair, she calmed right down and remained very relaxed for the remainder of it.

Then we called my parents to have them bring Kalianna to the hospital to meet her sister. My parents got to watch all three grandkids over the weekend while Kristine and I were both in the hospital. Kalianna walked into the room and was happy to see us. Matt lifted her onto the bed so she could sit by me. Her arms were full of stuffed animals. Two for her and one for her new baby sister (yeah right). She didn't even notice Magdalyn in my other arm until I said, "Look at the baby". She finally noticed there was something in the bundle of blankets that Mommy held. She got a big smile on her face, reached out and touched Magdalyn and exclaimed, "Baby!" Then she giggled. It was super cute! A little while later my dad picked up Magdalyn and Kalianna got quite upset. Then she wanted Mommy to get up, which I couldn't. She got more upset. Waking up at 5:30 am had finally caught up with her. She went for a walk with Daddy and fell asleep in her stroller. Kalianna came to the hospital every day, and each day she became more interested in Magdalyn (Maggie) and she was happier to be there. It made me so happy! She had a rough time that first day, then after that, she was great! She especially liked doing 'little piggies' on Magdalyn's toes. Then when we went to pick her up from my parent's house, she asked to hold Magdalyn for the first time. Talk about melting a mommy's heart! The hardest part of the whole experience was being away from Kalianna for that long!

We had several other visitors that night and over the next few days, both family and friends.

It was really fun having my sister right down the hall! We had all the same nurses and she was able to bring Hayden over to our room a couple times to visit. Hayden weighed a little more than two pounds more than Magdalyn. We held each other's babies and Wow! It was amazing what a difference those two pounds can make! We took some cute pictures of them side by side. It will be so fun to watch the two of them grow up together! Matt and Logan joked about how funny it would be to swap babies for a little while and really freak out the nurses. But Kristine and I weren't interested. Go figure. It was really nice for our family too, having us both at the hospital at the same time. It made visiting extremely convenient!

My recovery with this C-section compared to my recovery with the last one has been like night and day! I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was in much better health with this pregnancy. I also knew what to expect this time, so I was able to push myself a little more. The epidural wore off faster, I was on my feet and walking faster, and I was doing things on my own more quickly. The nurses had to remind me to take it easy a couple times. But I was ready to get up and get going as soon as my body would allow. With Kalianna, the first time I stood up, it took two nurses and several tries to get me there. I was in so much pain, I thought my insides were going to spill out my stomach. And I couldn't move. I could only stand for a brief moment. Then I needed help getting back into bed, because I couldn't even lift my feet off the ground. I also needed the assistance of a belly belt for two weeks after Kalianna was born. With Magdalyn, I stood on my first try and only needed one nurse. With a nurse on either side, I walked to the bathroom by myself and I got back into bed on my own. I haven't needed the belly belt once and I took Kalianna on a walk around the block my 2nd day home. I am definitely much less scared to have more C-sections in the future! Especially as long as I keep my good health!

Here are some pics of our new little addition and my cute family:

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Not my will, but Thine be done

I have been praying almost since I found out I was pregnant that the baby would come on her own and I would be able to deliver vaginally this time. Once I have two C-sections, there is no going back. All future deliveries have to be C-section. Some people (mostly men) may think I'm crazy for having this desire, given how easy a C-section is. But I don't know, I wanted that experience of delivering my own children. And I don't look forward to the recovery part of a C-section, especially when it requires I can't lift my two-year-old for six whole weeks! I thought for sure this was a righteous desire, and the Lord would surely come through and have me deliver before tomorrow.

A couple weeks ago my mom gave me an article in the Ensign to read. I don't think she knew of my internal struggles; she works for LDS family services and wanted to show me the article because it was on infertility and she knows some of the couples who are mentioned. After reading the article, I was given a whole new perspective. What is a more righteous desire than to bring children into this world? Yet how many righteous women are unable to conceive and have to go the route of adoption?

The Lord knows far more than I do! Maybe I would not do well with labor and delivery, maybe I am supposed to learn a lesson in humility by letting others serve me while I recover, maybe my children are supposed to come C-section so they can have perfectly round little heads. Or maybe this is just one of my trials in this world. Whatever the reason may be, as soon as my prayers changed from "please don't make me have a C-section" to "please bless that the C-section will go smoothly", I felt my tension and stress disappear. And now I am actually looking forward to it! It turns out it's not my will that is the important one. Not my will, but Thine be done.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

One Week

So I've done just about everything a person can do to try and encourage my body to go into labor. Each one has been received with no response. I have contractions for several hours, but then they stop. Never going anywhere. Then yesterday at my weekly appointment, my doctor stripped my membranes. Still nothing. So I have come to the conclusion that this baby is not ready to come! As anxious as I am to meet her, and as much as I didn't want another C-section (for the recovery part of it) I've decided I'm really okay with waiting another week. One week from tomorrow and she will be here! I'm so excited!! I was thinking this morning about what one more week will give me.

  • One more week to enjoy spending time with just my one, beautiful little girl
  • One more week to enjoy our family of three
  • One more week to get her room completely ready
  • One more week of school for Matt to get through
  • One more week of cleaning and getting my house ready
  • One more week of getting frozen dinners made for after she's born
  • One more week to enjoy feeling the movements of her inside me
  • One more week of having the excuse "but I'm eating for two"
  • One more week for the weather to warm up
  • One more week to enjoy taking naps
  • One more week of my hubby rubbing my swollen feet
  • One more week I get to watch Matt play soccer
  • One more week of sleeping through the night
  • One more week of people saying, "Oh you're pregnant, let me get that for you"
In the grand scheme of things, a week is almost nothing! So I am going to enjoy this last week to its fullest!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Kalianna Turns Two

Matt took Friday off so we could celebrate Kalianna's birthday. We had a great day together, just the three of us! My parents got her this super cute outfit for her birthday. Kalianna loves fluffy, pretty skirts and I thought it made the cutest birthday outfit!

We went down to Salt Lake and got lunch at McDonalds. Kalianna enjoyed her happy meal and then played in the play place for a little while.

Then we went over to the aquarium. Kalianna loved looking at all the fish and animals. When we let her put her hands in the water to touch the sting rays, Kalianna kept saying, "wash" and tried to clean her hands in it. Her absolute favorite thing though was the giant sea turtle. It kept swimming right past her face and at one point, they were looking straight at each other. She had fun playing in the little caves too.

Kalianna got some money for her birthday from family members, so we brought it with us and let her pick out a souvenir before we left. We weren't sure how she would handle picking out just one thing, but she was great! She picked out several animals, hugged them, then put them back. Until she found the snake. She held on tight to the snake and didn't want to let it go. We even tried to ask her if she wanted a different color, but she was set on the blue snake. She just hugged it and hugged it.

After the aquarium we went to my parent's house for the evening. We stayed the weekend there for conference. Kalianna, Grandma and I all played outside on the swing and then inside with toys while Matt finished up some homework. Once he was done, we took Kalianna to the store and picked out her first bike. She has become obsessed with bikes! She always wants to ride around with the neighbor kids, so Matt and I thought this would be the perfect birthday present. She was ecstatic! We also got some sidewalk chalk and when we got back to my parent's house, aunt Ricci and I distracted her with the chalk while Matt put the bike together. Then after dinner, we went for a nice long walk so she could ride her bike. It was the perfect day!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Third Time's the Charm

We had a pool party planned for Kalianna, and then she got sick. Then we decided to try and go to the pool Monday night for Family Night. But Kalianna didn't take a nap that day. While making dinner, she fell asleep on the couch. Couldn't get her to wake up. When we finally did, she was very grumpy (can't blame her) and wouldn't eat dinner. By the time she was happy and fed, it was nearing 8:00. So...swimming didn't happen.

Tonight! We finally made it to the pool tonight and Kalianna LOVED it! She is absolutely fearless! If we had let her, she would have just kept walking until the water was over her head. She was also very annoyed that Daddy insisted on holding her hand during the waves. She wanted to jump in and play along with all the big kids. We had lots of fun and hated leaving, but when your kid's lips are turning purple and they can't stop shivering, it's time to go.

As a side note: I decided I didn't want to spend the money on a maternity swimming suit. So I just wore my normal one. It's a two piece, so I figured I would be okay as long as I just put a T-shirt or something over it so my belly didn't hang out. I forgot to take into consideration how much my waist has expanded, even with it sitting under my belly. I also forgot to take into consideration the fact that my breasts are three times their normal size. Needless to say, it was TIGHT. Once we got in the water, I was okay. But I think next time, I won't be so stingy and I'll just buy a new suit!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Kalianna's 2nd Birthday Party

Kalianna turns two on Friday! We wanted to keep her party small this year, so we just invited grandparents and aunts/uncles for a swimming party on Saturday. Unfortunately poor Kalianna woke up with a bad cough Saturday morning and we had to cancel the party. With the cake already made, and the presents already bought and wrapped, we threw together a last-minute party last night. My mom invited everyone over for dinner and afterwards, we opened presents and ate yummy cake and ice cream.

Kalianna loved the attention and had a ball opening her presents!

My mom made her a super cute Mickey Mouse cake, with a ring of m&m's around the outer edge. One of Kalianna's favorite things about going to Grandma and Grandpa Howell's house is she gets to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. And my dad always slips her a few m&m's. So the cake was perfect! She got a little shy when everyone started singing to her, but she was super excited to blow out her candles.

Thanks to everyone for coming! It was super casual, but the perfect party for Kalianna!