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I have to vent for a minute. People who know me well know that I am not a super outgoing or talkative person. I don't talk just for the sake of talking. I don't feel awkward sitting in silence with someone. I often prefer to observe what's going on around me. And I won't speak unless I have something to say. Most people understand that this is just my personality, but a few people take my silence offensively. My whole life I have had to deal with the following stupid question: "Why do you hate me"? Apparently, my lack of talking has led several people to believe I don't like them. Growing up, some people thought I was snobby because I didn't constantly talk to them. Well I am here to say that I can't think of a single person on this planet that I hate and the only people I really don't care for are people I used to work with. But I'm not working anymore so there is not a single individual I associate with that I don't like. Honestly. So please, please, please, please, PLEASE stop worrying so much about whether or not I like you. Just because I don't have the same personality as you and just because I don't talk as often as you'd like me to does not mean I don't like you. My silence also doesn't mean there is something wrong. So please stop worrying! And please stop asking what's wrong or why I don't like you! If you don't like the quiet, you are going to have to initiate the conversation and you are going to have to ask me questions to get me talking. That's just the way I am. Sorry
Yesterday was Kalianna's first trip to the Pediatrician. And let me tell you, it was a mom's worst nightmare! First let me clarify. We love our pediatrician, she is fabulous! It had nothing to do with the people working there, but my poor two-week old baby had things done to her that no child any age should have to suffer through! I knew she would be poked and prodded and that they would prick her. Typical things for a pediatrician, even though they are hard for mom to watch. But then the Dr. wanted to check her Billy Rubin (don't care if I'm spelling it right) levels again because she was looking kind of yellow. So they had to not only prick her, but they had to draw a bunch of blood for tests. The Dr. called me last night and her levels had indeed gone up since she was born. So now I have to go back next week so they can do the torturous test all over again to make sure the levels start going back down.
Now pricking my baby and drawing blood may not seem too terrible. But what they had to do next was pure torture! Kalianna has a heart murmur. The Dr. told us not to lose sleep over it, but because she is so young and so tiny they have to take extra precautions. So, not only do I have to return to my pediatrician next week for billy rubin testing, but I also have to take Kalianna to Primary Children's to see a cardiologist! They stuck stickers all over her little body and hooked probe things to the stickers to get some readings on her heart. The poor thing screamed and screamed when we had to pull all the stickers off. They were petty stuck to her soft, sensitive skin. Then they took a chest x-ray. All of this was to send to the cardiologist so he can look it over before our appointment. And do you know how they take chest x-rays on newborns?? Well first of all in order to get a chest x-ray you have to be standing and you have to hold your breath. Neither are very plausible for a newborn. So, they invented this tube-like contraption to put the baby in. I had to hold Kalianna's little hands up above her head while Matt stretched her feet down below so the radiologist could close the tube around her body. The tube forces the baby in the upright position and it constricts the chest to force the baby to cry. Poor Kalianna screamed bloody murder while mom sat there and cried. We were finally able to get her out of the tube and I wrapped her up and held her while we waited for the image to develop. I was amazed at how quickly she calmed back down! If someone had done that to me, I would still probably be screaming! Because Kalianna can't hold her head up, her face was forced against the opening in the tube and her head was scratched and she has a cut on her left cheek. We are really hoping things go well with the cardiologist so she never has to go through that again! My poor baby had to go through two hours of testing last night! Thankfully she slept well afterwards. Poor thing was exhausted!
Kalianna Dace Carroll is here! Can you believe it? Sometimes I still can't believe it and she is sleeping right next to me! Since many people ask about the pronunciation, I will spell her name phenetically for you. Cal (like the beginning of California) Cal-E-on-a Dot-say Carroll. Kalianna is the combination of two names we liked and back when we were first married, Matt and I decided to give all our children Latvian middle names. Dace was a good friend of Matt's on his mission who really helped him a lot with his Latvian. So, there you go. Now for the fun story:
Wednesday I took it easy all day and then I picked up Matt for our appointment around 4:00pm. We got to the hospital around 4:30 and they began getting me ready for the procedure at 5:00. I was having a few contractions, but nothing steady. I've been having contractions for the last two months, so I thought nothing of it. They gave me something to relax my uterus, so it would be easier to try and turn her. They hooked me up to an IV as well as monitored both mine and baby's heart rates. The doctor came in and asked if I was ready, and they began. She and a resident began trying to get her little head to move out of my ribs and down to my pelvis. They had her halfway turned (so she was completely horizontal) and then she went right back to where she was. The pain was just a notch below unbearable. They worked on my stomach for a good half hour when Dr. Brown said it was enough. She wasn't budging. They noticed that despite the medicine, I was having contractions throughout the procedure. And in fact, the contractions may have been why they were having such a hard time getting her to move. So Dr. Brown checked me and I was dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced. Plus her little foot was poking in and out of my cervix. Dr. Brown looked at me and said "I think you've had enough. I can't send you home like this, so what do you say we deliver this baby tonight?" I started crying (it was a little overwhelming) and I think Matt just about passed out. After joking all day about how funny it would be to have her born on April Fools Day, our little joke was coming true. The doctor left to check the schedule, and the phone calls began. We called my sister to pick up our dogs and take them to my parents house and told my mom to meet us at the hospital and to bring a camera. We called both our families to tell them the baby was indeed coming that night. Several people didn't believe us until I text them a picture of her after delivery. We didn't have anything with us, so thank goodness for family who could bring the items we needed to the hospital! Its incredible how calm I felt about the whole situation. After my brief burst of emotions when the doctor told me I'd be delivering that night, I was amazingly calm and happy about the whole situation. They took us back to the operating room and the anestesiologist gave me a shot to numb me from the armpits down. It was so weird watching them move my legs around, but not feeling a thing! I could feel a lot of pulling and pressure, but no pain. One of the strangest sensations I have ever felt was the relief of pressure as they pulled her little head out of me. The moment I heard that first little cry, I knew my life had changed forever. I was in love! Tears of pure joy started streaming down my face. It was SO HARD lying there while they stitched me up and listening to her cry. Matt was able to watch as they cleaned her up and weighed her and everything, but I had to be patient. All I wanted was to finally meet my beautiful little girl! They brought me back to the room and sat me up and I was able to look at her perfect little face for the first time and cradle her in my arms. She latched on immediately and has been a champion eater ever since. We had a couple names in mind, but the moment we saw her we thought she looked like a little Kali. Kalianna was born Wednesday, April 1st at 8:08pm. She weighed 6 lbs 2 oz and measured 19 1/2 inches long. We enjoyed many visitors over the next few days, but are glad we were able to go home this morning. Its nice to be home!
So our sweet little girl has decided my stomach makes a better pillow than my pelvis. Can't say I really blame her, but it is making me pretty uncomfortable. Dr. Brown said she is in the exact same spot as last week, she could even feel her little toes when she reached in to check everything. Thank goodness I didn't dilate anymore this last week! I'm still at a three, which means tomorrow I get to go in and have them try and manually turn her around. I go in at 4:00 and they give me something to help my uterus relax. Then at 5:00 Dr. Brown will come in and maneuver my stomach to see if they can get her to rotate. There is a chance it won't work or that she will turn herself around again, in such cases we will schedule a C-section for week 39. The procedure is apparently quite painful, according to several ladies who have had it done and shared their stories with me (Thanks for the encouragmenet guys!) =) But I feel like its something we need to at least try. I'm actually not so worried about the actual procedure, I'm more worried about what Dr. Brown told me I had to do to prepare...I can't eat tomorrow! She said I can eat a big breakfast and sip water occasioanlly throughout the day, but I need to have an empty stomach when I go in. No food? Is she crazy?! I can't even go a whole day without food when I'm Not pregnant! Oh well. C'est la vie, right? So, needless to say, I'm not going to work tomorrow. My doctor suggested I take it easy and take a long nap in the afternoon to help with the hunger. Also because I need to be relaxed when I go in.
I realized when I wrote the appointment on my calendar that tomorrow is April 1st. And there is a tiny chance that the procedure can cause me to go into labor. So if you get a text or a phone call from Matt tomorrow telling you baby Gertrude has arrived, I am promising you here and now that it is NOT an April Fool's Day joke! Wish us luck!
